Blog Wars Holiday Special
Metalcore. From the Awakened album, released in 2012. More info from Wikipedia.
I know, I know. I haven't done an update in a while (literally two weeks). So sue me.
I've finally managed to find a little free time to post an update, and it just happens to coincide with occurring on Christmas day. Let's go ahead and spend an indeterminate length of time hammering this bad boy out before I decide to call it quits.
So, what's been going on over past couple of weeks? I'm glad you asked (you did, don't deny it)!
The most significant event over the past two weeks occurred last weekend. The aforementioned electrical issues that were identified in my last post were rectified, and I've been living in my house full-time since last Sunday evening. The interior electric service panel is brand new with equally new breakers for each circuit, organized wiring for each circuit, and (most importantly) properly secured connections. The electrician that performed the work graciously drove over an hour from his house on a wet and raining Sunday to complete the required electrical repairs, and I'm beyond grateful that he was able to do so on not only such a short notice, but on the damned weekend. While he was here, he also installed the electrical for the new location of the washer/dryer, and he worked the labor involved with such work into the cost of replacing the panel. Getting the electrical issues fixed was a huge win for me, so his willingness to work with me is far beyond appreciated.
While the electrician was doing his thing, Chris and I were under the house doing our own thing in tandem. We were able to complete running the new plumbing for the washer drain, ran venting for the dryer vent, repaired a few more miscellaneous plumbing fixes, and got the TV hung on the wall mount. The other outstanding items - namely, fixing some of the insulation, cleaning out the crawlspace, and settling in - will occur naturally as I continue to live in the house, as these items are easy enough to fix by myself and can be fixed as needed and on demand.
Other than that, everything else has been relatively routine. I have been on vacation since the 14th, and will continue to be on vacation through this week. My vacation started a little earlier than anticipated, with me receiving a text from Kayla on the 13th saying that our boy had some kind of stomach bug and was vomiting everywhere, and asking if I could pick him up and care for him for the day. Given that I was in my office at work at the time (and the electrical problems in my house hadn't been repaired at this point), it meant that I would need to pick him up and drive him all the way out to my sister's house (which is where I was staying for the extra week while my house had no reliable power) and work from there for the day. I agreed to help out, and after an hour and some change of driving from the office to my house (to pick up the car so I can pick up the kiddo), from my new house to my old house, and from the old house back to my sister's, I started to settle in to working remotely while the boy watched some TV and tried to recover. Naturally, I didn't get much work done while I tended to the care of my kid. I sent a few emails and made a couple of calls, but nothing significant occurred that required all of my attention.
Later in the day, another text came from Kayla saying that our daughter started showing the same symptoms, which meant that I was packing our son up into the car (thankfully he was doing much better at that point) and set out for Bethune to pick up my daughter. Halfway there, Kayla called and said to just bring our son back to the house, as she was leaving work to get our daughter and take her home. This was a change of the original plans, as Kayla had a planned dinner party with her employer that evening, but given the news of both kids being down with this bug, they opted to reschedule it, giving Kayla the opportunity to get back home. I had mixed feelings on this; part of me was relieved that I didn't have to spend so much time driving (and thus spending copious amounts of fuel for the car - it takes Premium gas, and that shit ain't cheap), but part of me was also torn, given that this was happening and I was supposed to have already been in the house at this point (which would have rendered the fuel consumption in the car irrelevant). Nonetheless, we worked through this issue and everything has been good thus far.
Since most of the events over the past week are not really worth mentioning (or maybe they are and I just don't want to type them), the last 24 hours have certainly been noteworthy. As such, I feel it prudent to at least discuss everything that's been going on since yesterday.
Given that I've been living in my house for the past week, the original Christmas plans made by my sisters were still in full effect. The plan was to have our Christmas deal yesterday, since my house is more centrally located between both of my older sisters (and affording everyone in my family the opportunity to see the house). I picked up the kids early in the evening and fed them dinner, which was the typical holiday fare: ham, potatoes, green bean casserole - the works. We did gift exchanges and let the kids open the mountain of gifts they received, followed by a bunch of playtime and running around. Time of course slipped through our fingers, and before long, it was time to get the kids back to the house. Upon doing so, I was taken aback for a moment about a comment Kayla mouthed to me (so as not to bring attention to the kids about what was being said). She asked (or rather, very softly spoke), "Were there no gifts for the kids?" Of course, I immediately responded that they were at the house, which seemed to at least set her at ease for a moment. This question, however, really bothered me. The way I interpreted her question was that she was expecting the kids to return home with a ton of gifts from my family so the kids can play with them at their leisure.
Naturally, I took exception to this thought process. Given the state of our relationship (or at this point, the lack thereof), it's completely asinine to think that I'm going to willingly give all of the gifts that the kids got to her, knowing full well that they wouldn't have anything to play with while at my house. I mean, seriously. You want me to give you all of their gifts that were paid for by me and my sisters to you so that they can play with them at your house, notwithstanding the fact that I want the kids to be able to play and have fun at my own house without having to ask about any of the toys that they already have? Fuck that noise.
In the end, I didn't let it bother me too much. Last year for Christmas, I did indeed give the kids' gifts to her so they could play with them at the house, but I did so under the premise that hopefully the impending divorce wouldn't finalize. Given that the divorce is final (and happened four months ago at this point, holy shit), all bets are off. This year for Christmas, I had no intention of giving any of the kids' gifts to her for use at her house. Any gifts that the kids got were to be used at my house, where they could play with them anytime they were here at the house. All of the toys stayed put here at the house, with the exception of the few articles of clothing the kids got. I don't see a need for them to stay here at the house since all of their clothing is over there; if I kept the clothing here at the house, they'd likely outgrow it before they had any time to actually wear it. So, with exception for the clothes, everything else they got is safely in my house.
After the crowd died down yesterday, I once again found myself alone in my house, as it had been for the past week. My oldest sister mentioned that she was a little bothered that I was in my house alone (she's my oldest sister, and all four of my sisters have a soft spot for me because I'm their only brother), to which I reminded her that it wasn't the first Christmas I'd be spending alone, and that it was already better than last year, when I felt borderline sick to my stomach because the only thing I wanted was to be back with my family. Despite the fact that I still want this this to happen, I feel that it's significantly better than last year because while I'm not exactly back with my family (don't get me wrong, my sisters are indeed family, and their company yesterday was more than welcome), I am closer to them and back in the town that I've called home for the last ten years.
I woke up this morning far later than I planned, having made the decision to sleep in. When I finally pulled my ass out of bed, it was about 10 AM. I started to aimlessly wander around my small house for a few minutes, trying to force my mind to decide what I wanted to do. I got a text from Kayla telling me that if I wanted to, I could swing by the house to see the kids, so of course I wasted no time heading that way.
When I got there, my son wasted no time making it known that he wanted to go back to my house to play. I was introduced to the toys that the kids received before we gave the kids a quick, small lunch, then packed them into the car and drove them to the house. The plan was to let the kids play at the house for a bit, and when it was close to nap time, Kayla could swing by the house and pick them up. Both kids had a blast playing with their toys; my son spent the whole time playing with his Legos (yep, he's definitely my kid), my daughter just ran around the house playing with all of the toys her brother wasn't playing with.
Time once again hauled ass, and Kayla gave me a call asking if the kids were about ready to head back (it was getting close to their nap time). A few minutes later, Kayla was at the house, to which she received the "tour," which didn't take too long because the house is literally half the size of hers. However, I did see a smile on her face a couple times (not just here at the house, but when I was there picking the kids up earlier today - I'll touch on this in a minute), and having seen where I'm at and who my neighbor is (a board member for our local water utility), a wave of reassurance came over her.
After she packed the kids up and left (this was close to about two hours ago at the time of writing this), I went back inside and aimlessly wandered around the house again, lost in thought. Finally, I wrapped things up by sending Kayla a text (more on that in a minute as well), cracked open a beer, then started to hammer out this update.
In short, today wasn't too bad. Sure, it sucks that I'm here alone in my house on a holiday that is predominantly geared towards family gatherings (I won't get into the religious side of things for the sake of this update's size, and because I'm starting to grow a little tired of typing), but today as a whole has been pretty decent. When I went over to the house to see the kids, my plans were to just hang out at the house for a while, then head back here and get back to work on everything that needs to be done. The audible in the play was my son's borderline pleading to go over to the house to play with his toys. Of course, I didn't mind, and I don't think Kayla did either. But the insistence to play at my house as opposed to just staying home and playing with the toys put me in a good mood.
Of course, if I'm being a little selfish, part of me was already in a good mood, because for some reason, I could not keep my eyes off Kayla. She was in her pajamas and considerably relaxed, a far cry from how I usually see her when I go to the house. Of course, it goes without saying that I'm still very obviously attracted to her; hell, I'm still in love with her despite my reluctance to show it. But not only that, there were a few instances where she was just smiling.
I capitalized on this by taking an opportunity to send her a text message shortly after she left with the kids. The text was simple:
"You don't have to respond if you don't want. It was good to see you smile today; it gives me hope that maybe eventually we can work things out among us. Thanks for checking out the house, and have a merry Christmas."
Fully expecting that I wouldn't get a reply (as is often the case when I shoot her a message saying that she doesn't have to respond), I got a text about 30 minutes later that said, "Merry Christmas, John." To many, this would seem as a simple gesture of politeness (and I'm sure it was). But it had a different feel to me. Part of me read that message in a way that made it seem like Kayla wants to say something other than my name. It's that thought process that has made me feel better than normal for the last hour (since I've received the text). I don't know. Maybe I'm just projecting my thoughts into the circumstances and desperately trying to find the resolution I want that, in almost every other circumstance, feels like an impossibility.
In either case, I've ~~rambled~~ typed too much, or rather, more than enough for one day. As it stands right now, I'm dealing with yet another plumbing leak (under the kitchen sink this time), and I'm starting to get a bit hungry. I think I might cook some spaghetti and meatballs for dinner in a little while, then clean up a little bit before possibly calling it an early night. Or maybe I'll have some more beers to help keep my mind off of things. Who knows?
Merry Christmas!